Loss and the gift of memory.

While grief expresses the love for what is gone, loss brings a searing of permanency. It sends a shockwave through me, reminding me that my parents are no longer here. The loss speaks of the enormity of what has gone through small absences that amount to so much. The absence of a Sunday afternoon phone call, vegetables given from the garden, lunch at a favourite cafe. When constants leave, our world shifts on its axis, it is never the same, there are unfillable spaces.

What has not gone are our memories. Sometimes we avoid these because they might bring grief with them. And memories do bring tears, but also laughter, warmth, and love. In allowing and accessing memories, we bring the loved one back. We can talk about them, share stories, look at photos, read their words, remember their ideas and views. We can also talk to them in our minds or even out loud, and invite them into our daily life, to moments big and small. We can hear their voices again by imagining what they’d say especially in relation to a challenge or a success. When doing this, I feel the loss recede. While no longer here physically, they are spiritually, within me and beside me.

KOS

Nicki Weld

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